This is what happens when I’m too organised. I write up and publish this week’s post and then another one, that I can’t ignore for a week, comes along. This one is great though. We have all written something terrible at some point or other. Well now is the time to distance that horrific metaphor and blow the cob-webs off that tortured simile as the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is calling out for your bad writing.
A whimsical literary competition, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges you to come up with the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. To enter simply write a single sentence that is no longer than 50 to 60 words, is original and unpublished. The sentence can be of any genre however please avoid puns. The prize, as it says on their website is, is a pittance.
You can enter by either email, just pop your sentence(s) into the body of the message, not in an attachment (and it would be really swell if you submitted your entries in Arial 12 font) or by post, by sending index cards with your sentence on one side and the entrant’s name, address, and phone number on the other. There is no closing date. Check out the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest website for full details.
If you need are in need of inspiration here is last year’s winner:
“As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting.” — Cathy Bryant, Manchester, England
Back on the 29th of November one of the writers of Electric man, Scott, came along to the meeting and read some of the script from the film. Well the movie is now being shown at the Bo’ness Hippodrome for a one off screening on Friday the 2nd of March. The film is described as:
“An exclusive screening of the new Scottish feature, described by critic Allan Hunter as “‘The ‘Maltese Falcon’ meets ‘The IT Crowd’”. When the ultra rare ‘Electric Man’ Issue 1 turns up in Jazz and Wolfman’s run down comic shop their prayers seem answered. But others want possession of the prized publication… Enter crazed American collector Edison Bolt, psychotic Scotsman Jimmy (Marillion’s Fish) and the mysterious and beautiful Lauren McCall. This BAFTA nominated comedy thriller will be introduced by director David Barras, joined by members of the cast and crew.”
If you want a second chance to celebrate Burns night (after you have attended Burns Nicht @ Waterstones) then come along to Howden Park Centre’s Burn’s night with Heedrum Hodrum. Their music and dance will take you on a musical journey and is jam packed with foot tapping jigs and reels which is sure to fill the dance floor all night long. Heedrum Hodrum will pipe in the guests from 7pm and address the haggis at 7:30. Their group will perform a selection of scots tune while guests enjoy their meal. The meal will be followed by poetry by our local poetry group Quill. After which the dancing will begin. An exciting evening, not to be missed, with food, dance, music and poetry.
Ticket includes: Haggis (meat or veggie), neeps and tatties, and a wee nip to address the haggis.