This is what happens when I’m too organised. I write up and publish this week’s post and then another one, that I can’t ignore for a week, comes along. This one is great though. We have all written something terrible at some point or other. Well now is the time to distance that horrific metaphor and blow the cob-webs off that tortured simile as the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is calling out for your bad writing.
A whimsical literary competition, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges you to come up with the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. To enter simply write a single sentence that is no longer than 50 to 60 words, is original and unpublished. The sentence can be of any genre however please avoid puns. The prize, as it says on their website is, is a pittance.
You can enter by either email, just pop your sentence(s) into the body of the message, not in an attachment (and it would be really swell if you submitted your entries in Arial 12 font) or by post, by sending index cards with your sentence on one side and the entrant’s name, address, and phone number on the other. There is no closing date. Check out the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest website for full details.
If you need are in need of inspiration here is last year’s winner:
“As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting.” — Cathy Bryant, Manchester, England
Below is
Back on the 29th of November one of the writers of 
